"Dear Doctor Enmiah,
Last night I watched the ESPN E:60 special on energy drinks. The show talked about how terrible these drinks are for our kids and how much damage they can cause if someone doesn't do something about them. The show talked about banning energy drink sales to minors and I think it's a great idea. I don't want my kid dying because of some energy drink. What do you think?"
Concerned in Texas
Dear Concerned in Texas,
Well, let me start off by saying that, like any good parent, you most absolutely SHOULD be concerned about the health of your child. Any decent parent should be taking an active role in monitoring their child's diet. What you should also be doing as a parent is teaching your kid to not be stupid.
After reading your letter, I went and watched the episode of ESPN's E:60 broadcast and I have to wonder, did we even watch the same show?
The show did look at the effects of energy drinks on young people, and gave several examples of teens who had suffered some severe side effects from drink energy drinks such as NOS and Monster Energy Drink.
The show focused primarily on the story of a high school football player named Dakota Sailor from Missouri. Sailor suffered a severe seizure and, after doctors could not find a clear cause for the seizure, they concluded the cause was stimulants from the energy drink NOS . The show also mentions the death of two other high school aged teens whom the report says died as a result of drinking energy drinks.
Give me a break. First of all, this story should not be your sole basis of complaint against energy drinks. The report starts off by painting the picture of a big bad wolf named Energy drinks blowing away the dreams of teens. Yes, the story's report that energy drinks are potent mixes that can pack a caffeine punch of 520 milligrams, or a wallop equal to fifteen cans of Coke, is accurate. I drank a Red Bull once and that one can had my heart beating like a Apache war drum for two hours. The caffeine is what sells these drinks. The "energy rush" is the basis for the whole shebang. Uh, hello? Gatorade doesn't make you feel that way right? Wonder what's causing my hands to shake then. The report even SHOWED the warning label on the back of the can:
"CAUTION: POWERFUL
Not recommended for children, pregnant women,
or people sensitive to caffeine."
Hmmmm...my acute allergy to dumb people is acting up BAD right now. An energy drink company executive in the report accurately mentions the fact that, with kids, the "If one is good, five is better" theory is the approach most often used. Oh so true. And that approach can work; if we are talking about hours spent doing homework. Not a brilliant idea when it comes to chugging enough caffeine to kill a small camel. Dakota Sailor says out of his own mouth that he and his teammates as a regular ritual before football games would slam THREE cans of their energy drink of choice. Let's do the math shall we? If we use the figures mentioned in the story, that's like drinking FORTY FIVE cans of Coke! And not only that, after drinking more than a month's supply of Dr. Pepper, you go right out and play the high-speed, head-on collision game of football! Is it just me, or does anyone else see a seizure on the horizon here? And to top it all off, the report does not even once look at what would make a high school student think it was okay to participate in such physical exertion after revving his heart rate to 650,000 rpms with an artificial substance. I mean, God forbid that it actually be a child's fault that he was that stupid. It would have to be the big bad energy drink industry who markets this product of death to young people. COME. ON. Taking responsibility for your actions has to be high on the "Values My Kid Might Need" list of parenting.
Well, what about the kids that died, you ask. The report says that both of the deaths were the results of undiagnosed, previously existing heart conditions that were aggravated by the energy drink. If you have a faulty ticker and then pump yourself full of liquid nitrous, you're asking for trouble. The death of any young person is a terrible thing, and I am not making light of the loss those families experienced, but to blame the energy drink industry for the deaths of two young people is like blaming Snickers for the death of child who ate ten bags of Fun-Size Snickers candy bars with an undiagnosed deathly allergy to peanuts.
All things considered, the report does raise the question about the overall safety of energy drinks. However, for the report to imply that the energy drink industry is on par with some known health offender like, oh say, big tobacco is just ridiculous. When asked about the very clear warning on the cans of energy drinks regarding the potency of the caffeine levels, he said that the warning sounded like a " marketing ploy" that would entice young people to buy the product. What!? That's like saying that a sign that warns of a cliff ahead is just there to make people want to go jump off the edge. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't guarantee that he isn't an idiot.
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